Where can I get....(ADULT)

[dammit]

One of these??? :D http://mercury.walagata.com/w/gedchris/3982897.jpg

[IamOne]

what it is with you men and breasts.. they are only flaps of skin lol

[dammit]

what it is with you men and breasts.. they are only flaps of skin lol

Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh Riiiiggghhhhhht

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/gedchris/ad6e69e5.gif

[IamOne]

got any snow where you are in pie country got a bit cant get up the road in my motor..lol

[dammit]

No it rarely snows around these parts.. last time was Christmas day 2004.. got about an inch! :D

[Mr Bean]

got about an inch! :D

That's nothing to boast about old mate

[sho-dan]

i have to agree on that one with ya Mr Bean,the sheep are laughing now :D

[Snurfen]

no snow, but sounds like it was freezing on 25th Dec 2004, eh Dammit?

[IamOne]

:D well update on snow.. lasted for 4 hours made life hell.. now turned toget between my toes slushy type lol.. well at least the kids and the pooch enjoyed it...

[Snurfen]

just got a good hailstorm, laid a good mat of ice on our road. should be fun if the snow comes back.

[IamOne]

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio.
"There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said.
"You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole said, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee.
The weather forecast was, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets."
Again Ole replied, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions.
He turned to Lena, "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" Lena replied, "Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the damned garage today."

[IamOne]

Why don't cannibals eat weathermen?
Because they give them wind.

What's white, furry and smells minty ?
A polo bear !


What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush ?
One crushes boats and the other brushes coats !


Why did the snow-drop ?
Because it heard the cro-cus !

What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer ?
I.C. !

Where do snowmen keep their money ?
In a snowbank !


What did the snowman order at MacDonalds ?
Icerbergers with chilli sauce !

Whats stays hot even at the North Pole ?
Mustard !

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert ?
Lost !

Whats ice ?
Skid stuff !

[IamOne]

What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy ?
She gave him the cold shoulder !

What do snowmen wear on their heads ?
Ice caps !

What's an ig ?
An eskimo's home without a loo !

What do snowmen eat for lunch ?
Icebergers !

Where do snowmen go to dance ?
Snowballs !

How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !

What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?
A snowball

!How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
Frost bite !

How do you call an Eskimo cow ?
An Eskimoo !
:wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave:

[IamOne]

Diary of a Snow Shoveler...

December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow
blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the ******* is lying.

December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a ***** who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.

December 25 - Merry ****ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the god damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think shes a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wondeful Life" one mor time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me 1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE ***** is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?