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#1
October 22nd, 2000, 07:38 PM
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To Ladies Everywhere, From A Bloke Who's Had Enough!!
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need
it up, you need it down. You don't hear us *****ing about you leaving it down. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it! We don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar. Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Check your oil. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color. If it itches, it will be scratched. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle. What the hell is a doily?
__________________
For A Pint And A Larf Visit Dave's Pub 
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#2
October 22nd, 2000, 08:25 PM
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ROFLMAOPMP AGAIN!
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. So true.....so true! ------------------ <IMG SRC="http://www.kimmygemspad.com/My%20Documents/MyStuff/KimmygemTitle.gif" border=0> Visit Kimmygem's for Animated Graphics Join the Fun Bashing Kimmy @ Cyber Tech Help!
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#3
October 22nd, 2000, 08:32 PM
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Nice one, now maybe they'll understand us a little better.
------------------ ...Sharpy... Laugh and the world laughs with you... Cry, and the world looks sheepish and suddenly remembers it had other plans.
__________________
...Sharpy... Laugh and the world laughs with you... Cry, and the world looks sheepish and suddenly remembers it had other plans.
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#4
October 22nd, 2000, 08:50 PM
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Understand....yeah, maybe. Accept it? Never.
 ------------------ <IMG SRC="http://www.kimmygemspad.com/My%20Documents/MyStuff/KimmygemTitle.gif" border=0> Visit Kimmygem's for Animated Graphics Join the Fun Bashing Kimmy @ Cyber Tech Help!
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#6
October 23rd, 2000, 04:34 AM
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I have to say that I can't relate...If I say nothing is wrong, don't keep asking me!! Because nothing is wrong!
I can have all the shoes/boots/sandals that I want because it's my money too. Why would I ask you if I'm fat? I will cut my hair & color it & let it grow & talk about it all the time! I don't want cards/flowers/ candy for any holidays or birthdays or even a gift. I don't want to go shopping. I don't know how to sew/knit..I don't know what a doliy is or where they came from. Look all you want. But if you touch.....!!!! Watch all the sports you want but let me read this book! I am not your mother!!!!! ------------------ excuse me..I forgot the question..
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#8
October 23rd, 2000, 05:37 AM
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I'm with you there Irons, Iknow I posted this, but really I'm a big wimp at heart!!!
Lafave. I sure wouldn't want to take you home to meet my mother!!!  Dave.
__________________
For A Pint And A Larf Visit Dave's Pub
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#9
October 23rd, 2000, 04:34 PM
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oh, lufbra......
your mum would love me! hahahaha.....i am really a very mellow lady...now..quite easy to get along w/.! ------------------ excuse me..I forgot the question..
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