Dear Orange

[squiffy2]

Dear Orange,
I am having trouble understanding your latest advertising and I wonder if you can help me.
Several months ago your posters showed me a silver balloon in the shape of a canary, a dolphin, a panther and a raccoon and asked me which one I wanted. I actually wanted all of the balloons, but when I found that they were not balloons but animal-shaped price plans, I wanted them a little less.

Now your latest TV advertisement shows a goldfish. Is the goldfish a price plan too? And if it is a price plan, is it slower, smaller and less intelligent than the dolphin price plan?

Or being a real fish rather than a silver balloon, is this price plan more substantial? Please clarify.
Furthermore, your ad shows the goldfish restricted in a bowl, and then later swimming free in an ocean. Are these two variants of the one price plan? In which case I would like the restricted goldfish plan, especially for my daughter who makes far too many calls on her Orange telephone and expects me to pay.

I also notice that your latest poster says "if you love something, set it free". I don't have a goldfish but I do have a rabbit in a hutch in the garden. It's a real rabbit, not a silver balloon or a price plan. But if I set my rabbit free, it will eat the plants and I will not love it, or it will be eaten by a fox and I will have no rabbit left to love.

As you can see, I am confused. Please clarify which animals are metaphors and which are balloons and which headlines are lifestyle statements and which are practical animal-keeping advice.

And when you've done that, please tell me what any of it has got to do with telephones.

DIsgusted,
Tunbridge Wells

[Snurfen]

There goes Squiffy2, like a wrinkly ninja (from the days when Orange ads were funny).

[squiffy2]

Originally Posted by Snurfen

There goes Squiffy2, like a wrinkly ninja (from the days when Orange ads were funny).

[black mirror]

[chryssi2001]