squiffy2
August 14th, 2006, 10:01 AM
A group of country neighbours wanted to get together on a
regular basis and socialise. As a result, about 10 couples formed a
dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbours'
house each month.
Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the
dinner at their house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all
the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them
had ever lapped a lip over.
A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook
and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the
store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can
was more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, "We
aren't going to have mushrooms, because they are too expensive."
He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some
of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed."
She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard
that wild mushrooms are poison."
He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating
them all the time and it never has affected them."
After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try
and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some.
She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them,
sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered
steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the
yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some
bacon grease on them to make them tasty.
Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite. All
morning long, Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem
to affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady
from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron
and a little cap on her head. It was first class.
After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and
relax and socialise. The men were talking and the women started to
gossip a bit.
About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen
and whispered in Susie's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died."
With this news, Susie went into hysterics. After she finally
calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of
it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can
get there. We will pump out everyone's stomach and everything will
be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm."
It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren
as the ambulance was coming down the road.
When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases
and a stomach pump and the doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One
by one, they took each person into the master bedroom and pumped
out their stomach.
After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and
said, "I think everything will be fine now, and he left."
They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the
living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said,
"You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped."
;)
regular basis and socialise. As a result, about 10 couples formed a
dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbours'
house each month.
Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the
dinner at their house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all
the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them
had ever lapped a lip over.
A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook
and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the
store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can
was more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, "We
aren't going to have mushrooms, because they are too expensive."
He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some
of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed."
She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard
that wild mushrooms are poison."
He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating
them all the time and it never has affected them."
After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try
and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some.
She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them,
sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered
steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the
yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some
bacon grease on them to make them tasty.
Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite. All
morning long, Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem
to affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady
from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron
and a little cap on her head. It was first class.
After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and
relax and socialise. The men were talking and the women started to
gossip a bit.
About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen
and whispered in Susie's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died."
With this news, Susie went into hysterics. After she finally
calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of
it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can
get there. We will pump out everyone's stomach and everything will
be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm."
It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren
as the ambulance was coming down the road.
When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases
and a stomach pump and the doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One
by one, they took each person into the master bedroom and pumped
out their stomach.
After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and
said, "I think everything will be fine now, and he left."
They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the
living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said,
"You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped."
;)