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squiffy2
September 24th, 2006, 05:01 PM
Synagogue seating request form
Last year, many of you expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the synagogue. In order for us to place you in a seat that will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following questionnaire and return it to the synagogue secretary's office as soon as possible.

PLEASE PUT A TICK AGAINST YOUR CHOICES

1. I would prefer to sit in the: -
___ Talking section
___ Non-talking section

2. If talking, which category do you prefer? (Indicate order of interest)
___ Stock market
___ Football
___ Medicine
___ Congregants' secret medical tragedies
___ Your recent holidays
___ The rabbi
___ The chazzan's voice
___ Fashion news
___ What others are wearing
___ Why they look awful
___ Your neighbors
___ Your relatives
___ The situation in Israel
___ Who's cheating on/having an affair with whom
___ Other:_______________________________

3. Who of the following would you like to be near for free professional advice?
___ Doctor
___ Dentist
___ Psychiatrist
___ Child psychiatrist
___ Travel Agent
___ Stockbroker
___ Accountant
___ Lawyer
___ Estate agent
___ Architect
___ Plumber
___ Golf pro [tentative; we're still trying to find a Jewish one]
___ Other:____________________________

4. I want a seat located (Indicate order of priorityhttp://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/smile.gif

___ On the aisle
___ Near the exit
___ Near a window
___ Near the toilets
___ Near the bimah
___ Near single men
___ Where no one on the bimah can see me talking during service
___ Where no one will notice me sleeping during service
___ Where I can sleep during the rabbi's sermon [additionalcharge]

5. I would like a seat where:
___ I can see my spouse
___ I cannot see my spouse
___ I can see my friend's spouse
___ My spouse cannot see me looking at my friend's spouse

6. Please do not place me anywhere near the following people:
(Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider joining another congregation.)
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________

7. Your name: __________________________________

8. Building fund pledge: £_________________________

degsy
September 24th, 2006, 05:09 PM
Is this a joke or did I miss something?

If any other members (apart from BlackMirror who no doubt will reply with a "lol") find it funny then I may leave it otherwise i'll delete it because it is just wasting forum space.

squiffy2
September 24th, 2006, 05:15 PM
Oy Ve Degsy! It's Jewish Humour for goodness sakes:cool:

http://www1.thny.bbc.co.uk/cornwall/content/articles/2005/10/04/rosh_hashanah_feature.shtml

L'Shanah Tovah!

squiffs

Ned Seagoon
September 24th, 2006, 05:20 PM
Is this a joke or did I miss something?

Hey Degsy

Perhaps you've led too sheltered a life, this is very clever. :)

squiffy2
September 24th, 2006, 05:25 PM
Ta Ned ;)

black mirror
September 24th, 2006, 05:28 PM
Is this a joke or did I miss something?

If any other members (apart from BlackMirror who no doubt will reply with a "lol") find it funny then I may leave it otherwise i'll delete it because it is just wasting forum space.


ahhemm i beg to differ there
i dont get any of Squiffys jewish jokes..... at all ...i never have done and never will ...not being Jewish myself..:D
Hovever if you are Jewish you are probably in a heap on the floor after reading that...
And if someone takes the time to post a joke i will appreciate that joke in anyway i see fit...:rotflmao:

dammit
September 24th, 2006, 11:19 PM
I read all jokes.. and don't respond if I don't find them funny.. or previously posted (although some are worth a repeat :D )
Not really sure on this one..I guess you have to be Jewish. ;)

Ned Seagoon
September 25th, 2006, 06:03 AM
I guess you have to be Jewish. ;)
Or enjoy watching Jewish comedians and movies. :)

dohray
September 25th, 2006, 05:51 PM
Well it's no skin off my nose...as the Mohel said ;)

black mirror
September 25th, 2006, 06:32 PM
Well it's no skin off my nose...as the Mohel said ;)

No skin off my nose said the mole......:rotflmao: