St Peter...( adulty )

[black mirror]

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling
into bed and falling asleep. All of a sudden, he wakes
up with an elderly man, dressed in a white robe, standing
in front of his bed.

"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?... and who
are you?" He asked.

"This isn't your bedroom." The man replied. "I am St.
Peter and you're in Heaven."

"WHAT!" Said Tom. "Are you saying I'm dead? I don't
want to die! I'm too young. I want you to send me back
immediately."

"It's not that easy." Said St.Peter. "You can only
return as a dog or a hen. The choice is yours."

Tom thought about it and figured that being a dog is too
tiring but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life.
Running around with a rooster can't be that bad, he
thought. "I want to return as a hen." Tom replied.

And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken
coop, nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear
end was gonna explode.

Just then along came a rooster. "Hey, you must be the
new hen St. Peter told me about. How do you like being
a hen?"

"Well, okay I guess, but my a** feels like it's about
to explode."

"Oh that!" Said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation
going on. You need to lay an egg."

"How do I do that?" Tom asked.

"Cluck twice and then you push real hard."

So Tom clucked twice, pushed hard and 'plop', an egg
was on the ground.

"Wow!" Said Tom. "That felt really good!" So he clucked
again and squeezed and you better believe that there
was yet another egg on the ground.

The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "Tom,
for Christ's sake! Wake up! You're sh**n' all over the
bed!"