vesel
April 23rd, 2007, 12:10 PM
“A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message at the beep.”
* * *
“Hi. This is John. If you’re the phone company, I already sent the money. If you’re my parents, please send money. If you’re my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you’re my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.”
* * *
“Hi. Now you say something.”
* * *
“Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.”
* * *
“Hello. I am David’s answering machine. What are you?”
* * *
“Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.”
* * *
“Hello, this is Sally’s microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I’m stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.”
* * *
“Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don’t need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.”
* * *
“Hi. This is John. If you’re the phone company, I already sent the money. If you’re my parents, please send money. If you’re my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you’re my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.”
* * *
“Hi. Now you say something.”
* * *
“Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.”
* * *
“Hello. I am David’s answering machine. What are you?”
* * *
“Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.”
* * *
“Hello, this is Sally’s microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I’m stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.”
* * *
“Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don’t need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.”