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dammit
April 30th, 2007, 09:17 PM
We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed"her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....:rolleyes:

PurestLight
April 30th, 2007, 09:26 PM
Rings a few bells :disgust:

And he still manages to burn it on the outside while leaving it uncooked on the inside.
Tip: always have the oven on to cook it properly
Tip2: Beer is good to put the flames out on BBQ
Tip3: Provide paper plates and disposable cutlery
Tip4: Get bonkers sis round to lighten the mood and then (she will) jump in kids paddling pool after consuming copious amounts of beer or wine
Tip 5: Go to sleep somewhere quiet and ignore the lot of them :thrilled:

Snurfen
May 1st, 2007, 12:25 AM
Always remember to place a fat catching device underneath your brand new barbeque on your brand new portland stone patio.
Avoids waking up with a hangover the next day and having to replace said patio slab with a new one before the missus sees it.

trust me.

Vercades
May 1st, 2007, 02:58 PM
And he still manages to burn it on the outside while leaving it uncooked on the inside.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: BBQ nerd here