dammit
September 5th, 2007, 05:28 PM
A dirty old tramp was wandering the streets starving hungry when he happens upon a second tramp sitting on a park bench.
The second tramp was obviously very well nourished, and had takeaway boxes by his side.
"Excuse me" said the starving tramp, "how can you afford to buy takeaways"
" Ahh I can see you need a little educating" said the fat tramp.
"Follow me and watch how it's done"
He wandered down the road to a fish and chip shop, routed through the bin outside, and pulled out some old half rotten fish and chip remnants.
Went into the shop and said to the owner "Excuse me sir, can you spare a splash of vinegar and maybe a bit of salt for this?"
"Thats disgusting" said the owner "put it back in the bin and have a nice fresh portion on me"
With that he left the shop and handed the meal to the starving tramp.
"There you go my friend, thats how it's done"
The day after, he found himself wandering down a country lane and was feeling hungry again.
He saw in front of him a huge mansion with a sweeping driveway and huge gates at the front. Remembering his lesson the day before he thinks to himself, the people that live there must be loaded, surely I will get a good meal there.
He walks down the long drive, and up to the huge double doors, pausing to pick up a piece of horse manure from the drive.
He knocked on the huge doors and waited. The lady of the house answered and said "Yes, what do you want?" Lifting the manure he said
"Excuse me madam, could you spare a bit of salt and vinegar for this?"
She looked at him and said "Thats disgusting, put it down at once.....
then go round to the stables and get a warm piece"
The second tramp was obviously very well nourished, and had takeaway boxes by his side.
"Excuse me" said the starving tramp, "how can you afford to buy takeaways"
" Ahh I can see you need a little educating" said the fat tramp.
"Follow me and watch how it's done"
He wandered down the road to a fish and chip shop, routed through the bin outside, and pulled out some old half rotten fish and chip remnants.
Went into the shop and said to the owner "Excuse me sir, can you spare a splash of vinegar and maybe a bit of salt for this?"
"Thats disgusting" said the owner "put it back in the bin and have a nice fresh portion on me"
With that he left the shop and handed the meal to the starving tramp.
"There you go my friend, thats how it's done"
The day after, he found himself wandering down a country lane and was feeling hungry again.
He saw in front of him a huge mansion with a sweeping driveway and huge gates at the front. Remembering his lesson the day before he thinks to himself, the people that live there must be loaded, surely I will get a good meal there.
He walks down the long drive, and up to the huge double doors, pausing to pick up a piece of horse manure from the drive.
He knocked on the huge doors and waited. The lady of the house answered and said "Yes, what do you want?" Lifting the manure he said
"Excuse me madam, could you spare a bit of salt and vinegar for this?"
She looked at him and said "Thats disgusting, put it down at once.....
then go round to the stables and get a warm piece"