mawil
October 29th, 2003, 12:29 AM
Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband
rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.
Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in
between his neck and the noose.
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they're practicing to be men.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the
world to revolve around him. OR Three -- one to
screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag
about the screwing part.
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed
gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize
one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their
males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they
need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women.
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your
e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.
Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in
between his neck and the noose.
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they're practicing to be men.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the
world to revolve around him. OR Three -- one to
screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag
about the screwing part.
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed
gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize
one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their
males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they
need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women.
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your
e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"