MainFrame
March 26th, 2004, 02:09 AM
* Their No. 1 product would be "Microsoft Windaz."
* Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd get an empty beer bottle.
* Occasionally, you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape.
* Instead of "Yes," "No," or "Cancel," dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Aww-right," "Naw," or "Git."
* Instead of "Ta-Dah!" the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos."
* The "Recycle Bin" in Winders95 would be an outhouse.
* Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you'd hear "Freebird!"
* Instead of "Start Me Up," the Windaz95 theme song would be "Boot Scootin' Boogie."
* Powerpoint would be named "ParPawnt."
* Instead of "VP," Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz."
* Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.
* Daisy Duke screen saver.
* "Well, the first thing you know old Bill's a billionaire..."
* Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.
* Microsoft CEO "Billy-Bob" (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates.
* "ParPawnt" would have a "Pond Scum" and a "Junk Yard" presentation template.
* One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to face with a 12-gauge shotgun.
* "This computer protected by Smith and Wesson" screen saver.
* Directions to Corporate Headquarters: "Down the road a block or so."
* Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker, "Hookt on fonics werkt 4 me."
* Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd get an empty beer bottle.
* Occasionally, you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape.
* Instead of "Yes," "No," or "Cancel," dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Aww-right," "Naw," or "Git."
* Instead of "Ta-Dah!" the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos."
* The "Recycle Bin" in Winders95 would be an outhouse.
* Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you'd hear "Freebird!"
* Instead of "Start Me Up," the Windaz95 theme song would be "Boot Scootin' Boogie."
* Powerpoint would be named "ParPawnt."
* Instead of "VP," Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz."
* Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.
* Daisy Duke screen saver.
* "Well, the first thing you know old Bill's a billionaire..."
* Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.
* Microsoft CEO "Billy-Bob" (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates.
* "ParPawnt" would have a "Pond Scum" and a "Junk Yard" presentation template.
* One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to face with a 12-gauge shotgun.
* "This computer protected by Smith and Wesson" screen saver.
* Directions to Corporate Headquarters: "Down the road a block or so."
* Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker, "Hookt on fonics werkt 4 me."