Answer Phone Messages!!!

[lufbra]

RECORDED AND VERIFIED BY THE WORLD-FAMOUS INTERNATIONAL INSTITUTE OF ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE POLLSTERS

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now,
but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get
back to you as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those
reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I
already sent the money. If you are my parents, please
send money. If you are my financial aid institution,
you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my
friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't
worry, I have plenty of money.

4. Hi. Now you say something.

5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering
machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for
the beep.

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are
you?

7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon.
If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner!

8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is
his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll
stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable
of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding,
windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.
They give to charity through their office and do
not need their picture taken. If you're still with
me, leave your name and number and they will get back to
you.

10. This is not an answering machine. This is a
telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone,
think about your name, your number and your reason
for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone
I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call
back, it's you.

12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the
phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by
your phone until I call you back.

13. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home
cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the
phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's
safe to leave a message.

14. Please leave a message. However, you have the
right to remain silent. Everything you say will be
recorded and will be used by us.

15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't
pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something
we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down,
and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave
a message; and when we're done brushing our teeth,
we'll get back to you.

[RosieWolf]

ROFL.. I have to put #2 on my Pagoo ans service.. toooooooooo dang funny.. hahahahha

Good ones Dave!! Have I mentioned lately you have toooooooooo much time on ur hands?? lol

Huggggz



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GSon #1
GSon #2

[lufbra]

Well you haven't mentioned it before, but I guess I've gotta go out there and get a life!!!
Dave.

[lafave]

Geez, Lufbra....You are a busy fella..... I like #14.....Think I will use it.....Those are all toooooo funny.....

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excuse me..I forgot the question..

[tramtwo]

Mine says "record voice now", I just can't stand those cutesy messages and always hangup. The outgoing message should not last longer than the incoming ones.

[RosieWolf]

Tram luv.. is that why u keep hanging up?? no wonder all i get are them annoying 4 sec messages of dead air..

darlin, LEAVE A MESSAGE so I can come over for my BIKE RIDE!!!!! lol



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GSon #1
GSon #2

[Junky]

Me likes #4. Short and sweet. They all are funny thought.

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[tramtwo]

Sorry Rosie, I always hang up. Had to sell the bike to get some more rope for lafave.

[Kimmygem]

lmao! ....LaFave and her rope...she needs to share it hehe

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Join the Fun Bashing Kimmy @ Cyber Tech Help!

[Harrie]

Share it? No way Kimmy, we don't want it - lufbra will be after us forever with lights, ain't that right, fave?! Not to mention the dangers of getting tangled in it!

When hubby and I moved to where we live now, we recorded a new outgoing message. I'm standing there watching him - well first of all we kept cracking up and having to do it over! But anyway, finally he says, "You have reached _ _ _ - .........and he gets the new number wrong, and I say "no!" and we both started laughing, but he went ahead and finished and said, "Sorry, wrong number, you have reached - and gives the right one. Well before we had a chance to fix it, my Dad called up and got that message, and he said it was the funniest thing he ever heard!

The main thing is, though, I absolutely detest answering machines, on my end and the opposite end! Yuck! In fact, I hate telephones, period. Good for emergencies, though!



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[lufbra]

Good one Harrie.
Kimmygem, like Lafave would ever share them ropes!!!
Dave.

[ironside]

harrie you sound like my mom, then she spends the next half hour talking on it.
I have had so many different ones that i dont even use any,any more
but if you want to download some pre made heres an address to check out
The Answeringmachine
some funny stuff here!

[This message has been edited by ironside (edited 24 October 2000).]

[Kimmygem]

We saw this one somewhere...and I had the kids sing this..You'll recognize the song, if you're old enough. hehe

Yakity yak, Don't call back! Leave a message and we'll call you....

We got lots of laughs out of that one...

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[FrostyPhrog]

Hi
I may have to use a couple of those on my answering machine. Hey ironside thanks thanks for the link.

FrostyPhrog

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don't listen to lafave <FONT COLOR="limegreen">I am not a troublemaker</FONT c>

If a man speaks and there is no woman around to hear him......is he still wrong?

[Herb]

The shortest I'd on my box was:
"Me here, who's there?"

A favorite one was:
"Pregnancy consulting service, what can I do for you? (20 sec. silence) Our service is momentarily closed, but you can leave a message" That fed up a lot of my relatives

Currently I've this one up:
"You've 3 minutes, to blather this box full."

<A HREF="http://webwi.de/" TARGET=_blank> <IMG SRC="http://webwi.de/images/smallfligher.gif" border=0>Herb</A>
Edit: Huh HTML turned off, didn't notice it

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Y0K compliant, counting upwards

[This message has been edited by Herb (edited 26 October 2000).]