Warning to all bread eaters

[renegade600]

A study was done recently and found the following about eating bread.

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming
households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the
home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant
mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth;
and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged
whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24
hours of eating bread.

5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven
that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse.
The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low
incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and
osteoporosis.

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. subjects deprived of bread
and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two
days.

8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to
"harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold
cuts.

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. since the human body is more
than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your
body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you
into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit!
That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish
between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical
babbling.

[degsy]

What if it's wholemeal? Is that any better?

[oversoul]

Bread eating is a huge problem that plagues our society. Fortunately, there's help. "Bread Eaters' Anonymous" is a great support group who help those who know they have a bread eating problem. I can't quite remember who founded it... um, I think his name was Atkins or something.

Call them today, folks: 1-888-NOMODOE

[tramtwo]

Isn't there a Joke forum for stuff like this. Although on second thought it may be properly placed.

[enat66]

You know everyday that Akins thing looks better and better.
That's funny renegade

[renegade600]

Originally Posted by tramtwo

Isn't there a Joke forum for stuff like this. Although on second thought it may be properly placed.

It was tough deciding which forum to post it in. But I figure since everything in it is true it would be better in this one since it is an open discussion forum.

[tramtwo]

I don't approve of your new signature either. Or any link that is called a download that is not, or is a redirect. I am not sure that your signature fits into our TOS. But being a closet bread eater yourself I guess I'll cut you some slack.

[renegade600]

Originally Posted by tramtwo

I don't approve of your new signature either. Or any link that is called a download that is not, or is a redirect. I am not sure that your signature fits into our TOS. But being a closet bread eater yourself I guess I'll cut you some slack.

Picky, picky picky, Must be pick on Dan day. The only reason I am using tinyurls is I ran into a signature character limit wihen I tried using the full path to the individual links. I did take another look at the rules and there is nothing in the cth support forum rules that says I cannot use tiny urls. Besides since when is linking to hijackthis and the others is wrong. I just put it in my signature to make it easy to find and save time when I reply to some messages.

[degsy]

Probably want you to use the link to the CTH downloads page

[renegade600]

Originally Posted by degsy

Probably want you to use the link to the CTH downloads page

Maybe or maybe not, if this were the case, most of the members who provide links would be wrong.

[lufbra]

Originally Posted by tramtwo

I don't approve of your new signature either. Or any link that is called a download that is not, or is a redirect. I am not sure that your signature fits into our TOS. But being a closet bread eater yourself I guess I'll cut you some slack.

I shall be closing this thread after this, but I will say that not everyone approves of everything/anything others do here, if you do happen to have a problem with any members, there's a report icon on each post, the idea being you can report any such "problem" to a moderator.