misterbadnback
October 6th, 2004, 09:07 PM
I was thinking about how one of today's status symbols is the cell phone everyone has clipped to their belt or in their purse. I can't afford one, so I'm wearing my garage door opener. Now everyone thinks that I'm cool, too.
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it, "Pumping Rust."
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease....that's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write "A Good Doctor!"
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use, the bubb! les are always white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
How come we never hear any "father-in-law" jokes?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones a s 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden (and waited on) for weeks?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it, "Pumping Rust."
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease....that's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write "A Good Doctor!"
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use, the bubb! les are always white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
How come we never hear any "father-in-law" jokes?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones a s 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden (and waited on) for weeks?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.