apache
October 7th, 2004, 11:21 AM
I honestly think you're going to find these funny
IF YOU THINK YOU'RE DUMB ABOUT COMPUTERS, READ THIS, YOU'LL
FEEL BETTER.
Take heart, anyone among you who believes he or she is
Technologically
challenged, you "ain't seen nothing" yet. This is an excerpt from a
Wall
Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
"Press
Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key
is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
hard to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the
man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
monitor
screen and hitting the "Send" key.
>
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and
water and
soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and
washing them
individually.
>
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because
his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech
explained
that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't be taken
personally.
>
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents.
He told
the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer."
The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer
but that
his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get
her new
Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged
in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her
response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
> >happened."
> >The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse...
> >
> >8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand
> >new computer
> >wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat
> >there
> >for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what
> >happened
> >when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
> >
> >9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for
> >support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in
the
> >second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to
> >put in
> >the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in." The user hadn't realized
that
> >"Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.
> >
> >10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
> > CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
> > TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
> > CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my
> >warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
> > TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
> > CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
> > TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I
> >am.
> >Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How
> >did you
> >get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
> > CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about
> >a
> >promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
> >
> > At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he
> >couldn't
> >stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the
> >load
> >drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off
> >the
> >drive.
> >
> >11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
> >printer. The
> >tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman
> >responded,
> >"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man
> >sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is
> >working fine."
> >
> >12. And last but not least:
> > TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
> >at
> >the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
> >Now
> >type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager
> > CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
> > TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
> > CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
> > TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
> > CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that
:wave:
Funny and sad at the same time
Enjoy it!!
IF YOU THINK YOU'RE DUMB ABOUT COMPUTERS, READ THIS, YOU'LL
FEEL BETTER.
Take heart, anyone among you who believes he or she is
Technologically
challenged, you "ain't seen nothing" yet. This is an excerpt from a
Wall
Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
"Press
Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key
is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
hard to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the
man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
monitor
screen and hitting the "Send" key.
>
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and
water and
soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and
washing them
individually.
>
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because
his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech
explained
that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't be taken
personally.
>
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents.
He told
the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer."
The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer
but that
his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get
her new
Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged
in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her
response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
> >happened."
> >The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse...
> >
> >8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand
> >new computer
> >wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat
> >there
> >for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what
> >happened
> >when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
> >
> >9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for
> >support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in
the
> >second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to
> >put in
> >the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in." The user hadn't realized
that
> >"Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.
> >
> >10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
> > CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
> > TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
> > CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my
> >warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
> > TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
> > CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
> > TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I
> >am.
> >Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How
> >did you
> >get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
> > CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about
> >a
> >promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
> >
> > At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he
> >couldn't
> >stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the
> >load
> >drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off
> >the
> >drive.
> >
> >11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
> >printer. The
> >tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman
> >responded,
> >"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man
> >sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is
> >working fine."
> >
> >12. And last but not least:
> > TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
> >at
> >the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
> >Now
> >type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager
> > CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
> > TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
> > CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
> > TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
> > CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that
:wave:
Funny and sad at the same time
Enjoy it!!