You have to be very proud to be British because........

[TJolly]

1. Only in Britain...can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

2. Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front entrance.

3. Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries,and a DIET coke.

4. Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
to the counters.

5. Only in Britain...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

6. Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

7. Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.

8. NOT TO MENTION... 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works and
only 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

9. 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

10. 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy ights were plugged in.

11. 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

12. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker
pulling accidents.

13. 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled
out of the soles of their feet.

14. 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.

15. A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

16. An impressive 2345 Brits a year are admitted to A&E having impaled
themselves whilst sitting on their remote controls.

17. 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.

and finally.........

In 2000, eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
toilet.

[dammit]

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

Make that 59

[Vercades]

Originally Posted by TJolly

15. A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

That explains so much.