misterbadnback
December 30th, 2004, 07:12 PM
:eek: The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the
mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think
that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most
of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressur! e in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two
possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate
faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will
be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the
fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The
corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving
only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the
mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think
that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most
of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressur! e in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two
possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate
faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will
be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the
fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The
corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving
only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A