The Dude
September 21st, 2005, 05:22 PM
1. Show up with a baby and claim he belongs to the newlyweds.
2. Cover yourself with glue to improve your chances of catching the bouquet.
3. Offer to show people pictures of the bride having an intimate moment with the best man.
4. Tell people that you knew the bride before the sex change operation.
5. Tell the bride that the only reason you can look at her is that you used to be a proctologist.
6. Instead of a standard gift, give the newlyweds a gift certificate for a drug rehab clinic.
7. As you move down the receiving line, spit on each person.
8. Ask the bride's mother to join you in a quickie.
9. When the bride is coming down the aisle, push the organist out of the way and start playing, "The Lady is a Tramp."
10. Propose a toast to the bride's nose job.
11. Steal the cards from the wedding gifts so no one can tell who they came from.
12. Walk up to various guests and demand to see their invitations.
13. After the bride throws her garter, start people chanting, "Throw your bra, throw your bra..."
14. Tell everyone that the groom had to be given Quaaludes to keep him from backing out.
15. Tell the rabbi that there's no money to pay him, and ask if he'll settle for schtupping the bride.
16. Assure the bride's mother that the groom is "hung like a horse."
17. Return a bra which the bride left in your car.
18. Try to get off with both the best man and maid of honour.
19. Tie used condoms to the car wipers.
20. Tell the grooms' parents the bride got the 'all-clear' from the doctor last week.
21. Tell the Groom he has an Urgent call from a One Night stand he saw the other day
22. Tell the Bride that her husbands Wife called and asked when He was coming Home and that thier 8 kids miss him.
If you can think of any more - feel free to post them http://www.myfilestash.com/userfiles/thedude/rofl.gif
2. Cover yourself with glue to improve your chances of catching the bouquet.
3. Offer to show people pictures of the bride having an intimate moment with the best man.
4. Tell people that you knew the bride before the sex change operation.
5. Tell the bride that the only reason you can look at her is that you used to be a proctologist.
6. Instead of a standard gift, give the newlyweds a gift certificate for a drug rehab clinic.
7. As you move down the receiving line, spit on each person.
8. Ask the bride's mother to join you in a quickie.
9. When the bride is coming down the aisle, push the organist out of the way and start playing, "The Lady is a Tramp."
10. Propose a toast to the bride's nose job.
11. Steal the cards from the wedding gifts so no one can tell who they came from.
12. Walk up to various guests and demand to see their invitations.
13. After the bride throws her garter, start people chanting, "Throw your bra, throw your bra..."
14. Tell everyone that the groom had to be given Quaaludes to keep him from backing out.
15. Tell the rabbi that there's no money to pay him, and ask if he'll settle for schtupping the bride.
16. Assure the bride's mother that the groom is "hung like a horse."
17. Return a bra which the bride left in your car.
18. Try to get off with both the best man and maid of honour.
19. Tie used condoms to the car wipers.
20. Tell the grooms' parents the bride got the 'all-clear' from the doctor last week.
21. Tell the Groom he has an Urgent call from a One Night stand he saw the other day
22. Tell the Bride that her husbands Wife called and asked when He was coming Home and that thier 8 kids miss him.
If you can think of any more - feel free to post them http://www.myfilestash.com/userfiles/thedude/rofl.gif