Jokes Jokes Jokes

[Ned Seagoon]

MARIJUANA & GAY MARRIAGE

For those who haven't heard, Washington State just passed two laws - legalized gay marriage and legalized marijuana.

The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense, because Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned."

We just hadn't interpreted it correctly before now.

[Tim55]

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

[Elenax]

So apparently shops are now selling tampons with bells on. Must be just be for the Christmas period.

[Ned Seagoon]

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf."

[Ned Seagoon]

Wonder if it works here?
g-20.in

[Ned Seagoon]

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.


They charged one - and let the other off.